Mid 2014 Laura

I’ve been living full time as a trans woman for around three years now. I changed my legal name and got the gender marker on my passport back in 2014 and since then have lived every day of my life, without exception, as Laura Dale rather than anyone I might have been previously to the world.

For the vast majority of those three years, I’ve had to make a conscious effort to get gendered as female. With my hair down, face shaved, foundation and concealer, traditionally feminine coded clothing like skirts and tops that showed off the impression of breasts, I would still have a hit and miss track record getting correctly gendered in public.

I had to make an effort all day, every day, to still routinely get read as male in spite of my own efforts to present as female.

A few months ago, that seemingly changed out of nowhere. I’m not entirely sure why.

Mid 2016 Laura

Mid 2016 Laura

So, a few things have changed in my life since I started transition. I’ve started taking hormones, then hormones with testosterone blockers, then I had lower surgery and cut out the testosterone blockers. Most of these are things that will not be visible to the world around me.

As of right now, my body does not produce testosterone, and gets a daily dose of oestrogen.

My breasts, previously a bra stuffed with mastectomy breast forms, are now small but existent tissue of my own.

I don’t think I really look any different to when I started transition, but maybe that’s just seeing my own face every day.

The first time I realised something had changed was a night out in London where, trying to get home from a train station, four separate men tried to proposition me for sex.

It wasn’t a positive experience, it was honestly rather terrifying, but it was a night where I was clearly being clocked as female enough to face repeated creepy advances.

A few days later, I found myself getting catcalled more than I had before.

A few days later I ran to the shop in a baggy hoody, jeans, with my hair tied up and a bit of facial hair because I had not shaved yet. No makeup.

I got correctly gendered as female by store staff.

Lazy Laura

Lazy Laura

I found this starting to happen more and more frequently, I could make a “lazy day” trip to the shops making no conscious effort to signal myself as female, and still get clocked as female properly.

I’ve not had someone use male pronouns to refer to me in months. That includes days where I have made no effort on my experience and am bracing myself, expecting the reality of not being clocked as female.

I don’t know what turning point I hit, but from talking to other trans women, it seems like they hit this mystery point to.

2017 Laura

2017 Laura

There’s some point in transition where, even without making an effort, something changes and people start to clock your gender correctly in spite of non traditional aspects that would usually be considered “tells”.

I wish I knew what changed, but knowing this mystery turning point has been reached makes me feel infinately better about myself.

I feel like I can now explore non traditional femininity, the kind of varied experiences of valid femininity often promoted within non trans feminist circles, without worrying about my status as female being quite so scrutinised.

It’s a nice place to be in life.

Join the conversation! 19 Comments

  1. Yay! Congratulations on being hit on by creepy men Laura!

    Wait ….

  2. Gonna call bullshit on you getting hit on or catcalled, unless you were in a part of town that is frequented by men that even sheep turn down.

  3. Hey Laura,

    This is a tough sell for me. You’ve been constantly seeking attention and after you completely flubbed the Switch details that brought you so much fame I have a hard time believing your other outlandish claims.

    The kidnapping story is pretty out there and requires evidence. Now that the Switch reveal is over, people aren’t paying attention to you. This seems like a ploy to get back in the limelight.

    I’m a straight male and I still think you look decidedly like a man which is too be expected. Not everybody can pass and you didn’t exactly start off petite, girly, or pretty. You have a lumpy face and fried hair. I don’t think you are passing and I don’t think straight men are hitting on you. Sorry, honey!

    Seek help.

  4. I’m glad things are working out for you when it comes to people getting your gender correct!

    (Ignore the assholes. Attacking a woman’s appearance is the equivalent of admitting you’re a moron.)

  5. I am incredibly happy for you, Laura. I imagine this is quite exciting, and I hope it only gets better.

    Also, it never ceases to amaze me how absolutely how shitty people can be. Fuck ’em.

  6. Comment sections like these always remind me of how incredibly brave you must be to be openly trans in the gaming community these days. Thank you for speaking up and breaking the train so that future people will have an easier path.

    • Nobody gives a shit if Laura is trans or not. People care that she’s a compulsive liar. She has used uncorroborated victimhood to propel herself ahead in the industry.

      • Hm, Laura has gotten ahead in the industry and you on the other hand have apparently accomplished nothing. Maybe trolling trans women in the comments section of their blog isn’t a particularly useful pursuit. Have you tried doing something productive instead?

  7. Irritated by all the comments here.
    It’s funny… I know that mysterious turning point too well myself. So yes, +1 from me. 🙂

  8. +1 So glad you’ve hit that sudden, happy, almost nebulous turning point in your journey. You rock, Laura!

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