As I have recently learned as someone with a shortened urethra, urinary tract infections are painful as all hell to experience. Painful urination, constant feelings of desperately needing to pee, the whole experience can only be described as horrid. It’s not fun, but you just have to get through it and get on with life.

Let’s talk about some games that match the wonderful experience of having a UTI.

5) Sekiro

Much like a UTI, Sekiro kicks you hard in the crotch, watches you fall to the floor, gives you a few seconds to get back on your feet and start feeling okay, and then kicks you in the crotch again. You can try and get up again, but you’re going to ultimately be incapacitated by its horrible power for days.

4) Undertale

The biggest similarity between Undertale and a UTI is that both take up your entire focus, leaving you with just a slice of your mental energy no matter what you’re doing. You can try to focus on other things, but your mind is always going to wander back where it began.

3) ………… Screw It

Fuck list writing. UTIs are too painful.

2) I can’t do this …

The pain is stupid, I had no idea.

1) I’m done with this list

No more. Nope. Two games are all you get. I wrote this list on the toilet waiting for a doctor’s appointment.

Enjoy an incomplete list, compliments of my self-destructive urinary tract.