Over the past couple of days, I have been lucky enough to get a head start in playing through Pokémon Sword and Shield ahead of their official release, to begin working on my critical thoughts about the game. While I have encountered a whole host of British flavoured variants of existing Pokémon on my journey, I want to focus today on Galarian Pokémon that are not a part of Sword & Shield, but I believe need to be added as free DLC, as they represent vital parts of the British lived experience missing from these new games.
I will not talk about any unannounced Pokémon in this article that appear in the new games, but I will talk about some Pokémon which don’t get Galar forms, so if you consider that a spoiler you have been warned.
Galarian Unown – British Trianglular Free Standing Road Sign
Welcome to Galar, prepare for a twelve mile detour through some winding countryside roads, with triangular metal road signs half hidden in bushes meaning you’ll likely miss your turning several times, if someone hasn’t stolen the sign before you reach it anyway.
And the best part of making Unown into road signs? The UK’s road sign system is such a mess that I honestly wouldn’t bat an eyelid no matter which letter form you used? A W shaped road sign? Probably means the opposing lane of traffic has double right of way when merging or something.
Galarian Magikarp – Magikarp and Chips
Now, I’m not suggesting it’s morally right to eat a Magikarp, but a Britain based Pokémon game needs representation for the quintessential British meal, and I can’t think of a fish Pokémon easier to catch in large numbers than our flailing orange friend. It’s okay, he’s still alive, and he gets a new move where he gets to eat one of the chips and recover 1HP.
I was initially going to recolour this Magikarp and suggest it was a batter covered form, but that felt a little too mean to inflict on a Pokémon with no natural defenses.
Galarian Vanilluxe – Just stick a Cadbury’s Flake in it
I mean, if you’re going to have a Pokémon which is basically just a double wide Mr Whippy cone, you can’t really serve it without a stick of chocolate so flakey and crumbly that it mostly ends up all over your clothes rather than in your mouth, can you?
Galarian Bibarrel – It’s literally just a Womble. WomBibarrell?
Overground, underground, Wombling free. The Womble form of a Pokémon that’s quite common, are we.
Galarian Seedot – Conker Form
When Galarian Seedot fall from trees, children commonly attach them to a string rather than catching them in Pokéballs, battling by smacking them at each other until one cracks too badly to stay on the string.
So, can you think of any other essential British parts of life not covered by my new Galarian Pokémon? Let me know in the comments, and I’ll try and photoshop some of the replies too.